Marriage. Is it really something genuine and wonderful? Or are the rumors true about it being a prison? I have often wrestled with this issue because I want to live out the experience of having a family, but I have wondered if it is worth all of the trouble you and your spouse will go through.
Tonight, I think my question was answered. I just got back from babysitting for my aunt and uncle. They have been married some twelve or thirteen years and have three kids. My aunt, because of benign tumors on her brain stem, has to take a salad of medicine every day. She was there at the house the whole time I was babysitting; she just did not have the strength to get out of bed. At the end of the night, when my uncle got home from work, he started to talk a little about the situation. I had never really given much thought to their marriage until hearing him speak about it. My aunt's physical and mental difficulty has caused a lot of tension in the household; also, other arguments have many times threatened their marriage over the years, even before they had any kids. After hearing my uncle vent to me about the issue, I was left feeling slightly helpless. I asked myself, "So, is that it? You fall in love and then over the years, fall out of love?"
I found I was wrong. The next few words that my uncle spoke just about knocked me down. He said, "Me and Amy have had lots of problems over the years. I've wanted to divorce her and I'm sure she's wanted to do the same to me." My uncle was silent for a second and then said, "If I had to do it all over again, I'd pick her . . . with her physical and mental problems twice over. "
I felt the blow from his words. How could I judge any of it? I've never even been married for crying out loud! I learned a lot tonight and I'm glad. I think a lot of young people today are somewhat jaded by society's interpretation of marriage because of how high the divorce rate is.
I guess everything is what you make it; it's up to the individual to strive for what makes the world bow down in awe(unconditional love) or just leave it behind and never try. After tonight, I would rather go for the former.
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4 comments:
Hey Carlin, I definetely believe in marriage. I can't wait to get married and have my little boy and girl!! (hopefully that's what I get) I loved that he said he would choose her all over again, even with the problems. I love that. It gave me chills. I'm such a hopeless romantic though..it's pathetic! I really liked what he said though. It made me feel good about getting married because I hope my husband says that about me after twelve years.
I also believe in marriage. To get married and have a family of my own is my ultimate dream. I think people just have to go into marriage with the right mind-set. They must believe they will be together forever and know they will have struggles, but since they love each other they will work through them. Nothing comes easy in life just as a couple must work hard at their relationship.
Hi Carlin! I worry about the same thing! I work at a whole lot of weddings and I've heard two great pieces of advice from couples that have been married a really long time that have encouraged me! The first one is never stop dating, just because you're married doesn't mean the dating (not with other people of course haha) is over. The second advice is never go to bed mad at each other. No matter how mad and bitter you get at your spouse, get over it and work the problem out.
I take marriage very seriously. Once I'm married I have no intentions of getting divorced. That's not an option. I think so many people rush into marriage and don't truly know the people they are marrying and are blinded by romance and then they are quick to divorce. I've learned so many things from my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half (next week!) and we always work through everything. No matter how mad we get at each other. I think that's what it takes to be married. I can't wait to get married some day.
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